I had never considered that there might ever be a time when such self-disclosure of a sexual interest is necessary, albeit in the course of a therapists failure to control their own expression of their internal experience.
One thing that seems to be missing though, is that there is research about the routine overestimation by men of women’s interest in or attraction towards them. I think this context should give even more reason for a male therapist to consider such self-disclosure as a “last resort”, to be used only when a therapeutic rupture is already quite likely. Another aspect is the profound betrayal experienced by many women when platonic relationships are discovered to not in fact be mutual, but to contain hidden motivations and expectations on the part of their male friends, colleagues, and other relationships. In a world where many, many women have experienced even deeper betrayal with CSA and abuse within their adult relationships, the establishment of a safe vulnerability with a man can be an incredibly healing container, even apart from any other work accomplished within. Much of our societal conditioning already sets our worth on our desirability and truly, on our utility to men, so this disclosure risks rupturing what may be the only safe male/female relationship a patient has ever had. The likely cost is simply too high for a perceived benefit that in its very nature is likely to be interpreted through a deeply flawed lens.
This must remain a very last resort, and even that with serious understanding of a likely need for an outside perspective and emergency support for both therapist and patient.
I would have liked to read exactly HOW he disclosed in that moment. I agree it was probably the least bad option in the situation (would be worse to gaslight the patient "no you're wrong, I wasn't looking at you at all, certainly not looking in any SPECIAL way!!!"). But seems like a situation where the exact wording and tone would have been important to minimize damage.
Yes, this is a great point. The way he discloses is paramount - it is a great article if you have time to read and Slavin describes disclosure more in detail
This article is a great argument for mandatory psychotherapy for anyone wanting to practice in mental health on a professional level. Thanks for writing it.
Fantastic post. Very helpful as I explore the idea of non-touch through bell hooks and Lacan. Thanks so much for putting all these thoughts into words so eloquently.
I had never considered that there might ever be a time when such self-disclosure of a sexual interest is necessary, albeit in the course of a therapists failure to control their own expression of their internal experience.
One thing that seems to be missing though, is that there is research about the routine overestimation by men of women’s interest in or attraction towards them. I think this context should give even more reason for a male therapist to consider such self-disclosure as a “last resort”, to be used only when a therapeutic rupture is already quite likely. Another aspect is the profound betrayal experienced by many women when platonic relationships are discovered to not in fact be mutual, but to contain hidden motivations and expectations on the part of their male friends, colleagues, and other relationships. In a world where many, many women have experienced even deeper betrayal with CSA and abuse within their adult relationships, the establishment of a safe vulnerability with a man can be an incredibly healing container, even apart from any other work accomplished within. Much of our societal conditioning already sets our worth on our desirability and truly, on our utility to men, so this disclosure risks rupturing what may be the only safe male/female relationship a patient has ever had. The likely cost is simply too high for a perceived benefit that in its very nature is likely to be interpreted through a deeply flawed lens.
This must remain a very last resort, and even that with serious understanding of a likely need for an outside perspective and emergency support for both therapist and patient.
I would have liked to read exactly HOW he disclosed in that moment. I agree it was probably the least bad option in the situation (would be worse to gaslight the patient "no you're wrong, I wasn't looking at you at all, certainly not looking in any SPECIAL way!!!"). But seems like a situation where the exact wording and tone would have been important to minimize damage.
Yes, this is a great point. The way he discloses is paramount - it is a great article if you have time to read and Slavin describes disclosure more in detail
This article is a great argument for mandatory psychotherapy for anyone wanting to practice in mental health on a professional level. Thanks for writing it.
Very in-depth discussion of maybe the most fascinating aspect of psychotherapy.
Fantastic post. Very helpful as I explore the idea of non-touch through bell hooks and Lacan. Thanks so much for putting all these thoughts into words so eloquently.
🙏🏼thank you!
What a superbly grounded, balanced essay. Very provoking theoretically and well thought through!
Read this is you want to understabd AI and the Human minf https://myob371.substack.com/p/my-journey-with-ai?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=770tqq