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Jed's avatar

These are excellent questions. I was the person who made the call that resulted in an involuntary commitment for my best friend; I don't doubt that was what was needed at the moment. But the problem is that call resulted in a years-long odyssey through an institutional system that refused to listen to him, that devalued his own opinions about what he needed and why. He was compelled to take medication against his will, when he was lucid and knew exactly what was being done to him. The delusional episode lasted a short time, but the removal of his autonomy lasted for years and years. The problem is that it is impossible to achieve psychiatric recovery without wanting to recover, and if you're spending all of your time embittered about being involuntarily committed, you're unable to take charge of your own care and advocate for what you need for your own recovery -- you're stuck in a stew of resentment that is therapeutically counterproductive.

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Sofia Jeppsson's avatar

This was a great read.

I think that people who have never themselves been on psych meds, or if they have, never had any particularly adverse side effects, tend to SERIOUSLY underestimate how bad it can be.

I was on Haldol for many years and did fine. Eventually, though, the pills began losing their desired effect while I got more and more adverse side effects. I would get slurred speech because I couldn't quite control my tongue movements, like my tongue felt thick and sluggish, and I got more and more facial ticks. I tried Abilify instead but it just knocked me out, I just slept and slept (even on a pretty low dosage) (I know this isn't a very common Abilify side effect, but it's still a known one that some people get), and decided that Haldol was less bad all things considered. Stil very bad though - as we say in Sweden, like choosing between cholera and the plague.

Eventually, as I've written about in numerous publications now, I learnt to manage medication-free (though that would certainly not have been possible unless my entire life situation had become very stable and idyllic).

As antipsychotic side effects go, mine were still on the mild side. Yet, if I imagine someone FORCING me to continue taking either Haldol or Abilify, that scenario is HORRIBLE. Absolutely HORRIBLE.

I think most sane people realize that it would be horrible FOR THEM if someone forcibly drugged them, day after day, and they suffered badly from the drug but it was still forced upon them. But they somehow can't transfer that insight to the mad, who are seen as a different class of people, and therefore what's forced upon us can't possibly be as bad as if someone did the same to a sane person.

Kantian philosopher Christine Korsgaard wrote about the following phenomenon in her book Fellow Creatures: We all have a vicious tendency to implicitly assume - even if we'd never explicitly SAY as much, or even explicitly THINK this to ourselves - that when people (or animals) who are unlike us are mistreated and made to suffer, it's bad, sure, but it can't possibly be AS bad as if the same thing happened to US. I think she's absolutely right in this, and it's a huge problem.

I've talked to this person who's suffered so, so horribly from medication side effects, and who said that she really wished there were a kind of inpatient treatment where you could check yourself in when you realize a psychotic episode is on the way, but you wouldn't have to go on meds. You could just stay at the ward with nice and calm nurses watching over you until you calmed down again and was fit to re-enter society. But unfortunately, there is no such service, and for that reason she has seriously contemplated suicide. (Now she's trying other strategies and solutions, I hope for the best, but - WHY is there no such option? WHY?)

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