I respectfully beg to differ with the last comment. The sorts of observations or comments referenced seem to me less advice and more in line with what Foster is advocating: For example, the difference between saying "you don't need to go" and "you shouldn't go."
I have to admit that some people I've seen tell me that they have preferred that their therapists give direct advice, so I understand that opinions vary, and maybe the definition of advice varies.
I think this is an excellent piece, well-thought out and well-written. Personally I feel like I slip into proffering advice when I'm not on my game, and I always regret it. I agree that patients come to us when advice has failed, and generally when there are either no good answers, or no easy ones.
I’d say that it is essential for the therapist to give advice. A therapist who just listens is useless. The issue is whether the advice is right or wrong, well- or ill-timed, skillfully or ineptly worded. You say that a therapist needs to guide the client—how to guide without advice?
For instance, I have wasted much therapy time talking on and on. I know now I needed my therapist to slow me down, tell me to observe my sensations, ask me if I’m even aware of her existence. This is all advice.
Once I was considering going to a family reunion and my therapist said simply “You don’t have to go.” This was advice (skillfully worded, well-timed) and it was a major breakthrough. I had always known cognitively that I didn’t have to interact with my family, but I was still bound to them.
Unfortunately, in my experience, most advice (or interpretation) by therapists has been just plain wrong and has set me back by years, even decades. The problem isn’t advice—it’s bad advice.
I respectfully beg to differ with the last comment. The sorts of observations or comments referenced seem to me less advice and more in line with what Foster is advocating: For example, the difference between saying "you don't need to go" and "you shouldn't go."
I have to admit that some people I've seen tell me that they have preferred that their therapists give direct advice, so I understand that opinions vary, and maybe the definition of advice varies.
I think this is an excellent piece, well-thought out and well-written. Personally I feel like I slip into proffering advice when I'm not on my game, and I always regret it. I agree that patients come to us when advice has failed, and generally when there are either no good answers, or no easy ones.
I’d say that it is essential for the therapist to give advice. A therapist who just listens is useless. The issue is whether the advice is right or wrong, well- or ill-timed, skillfully or ineptly worded. You say that a therapist needs to guide the client—how to guide without advice?
For instance, I have wasted much therapy time talking on and on. I know now I needed my therapist to slow me down, tell me to observe my sensations, ask me if I’m even aware of her existence. This is all advice.
Once I was considering going to a family reunion and my therapist said simply “You don’t have to go.” This was advice (skillfully worded, well-timed) and it was a major breakthrough. I had always known cognitively that I didn’t have to interact with my family, but I was still bound to them.
Unfortunately, in my experience, most advice (or interpretation) by therapists has been just plain wrong and has set me back by years, even decades. The problem isn’t advice—it’s bad advice.